Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
