uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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