its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
