That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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