I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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