It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
