I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We got so high we made milksteak
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
