Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow

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(417): View more from Missouri

quadriplegic porn is always funny

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

no. no its not

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(815): View more from Illinois

I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.

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(819): View more from Quebec

We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.

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(815): View more from Illinois

my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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(207): View more from Maine

Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????

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(770): View more from Georgia

Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass

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(208): View more from Idaho

I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.

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