Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
