whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
