the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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