I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
