my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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