God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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