return my video game
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
