oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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