my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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