super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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