It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
