So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
