A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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