I can text with my tongue
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
