Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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