i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
