I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
