Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
