forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
