Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
