Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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