He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We need to get me chipped asap
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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