What did we do last night that was yellow?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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