gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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