its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
