She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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