Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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