Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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