YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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