WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
