don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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