I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
