still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
