O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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