I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The beers last night were like the tears from god
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
