at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
