if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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