I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
