If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dignity is for republicans.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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