All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
