My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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