is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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