we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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